59. Bill Eddy – Dealing with High Conflict Personalities Part 1

Bill Eddy is the Training Director and Co-Founder of the High Conflict Institute, an award-winning consultancy and training firm for professionals looking to better understand and manage high conflict personalities in the workplace. He is the developer of the High Conflict Personality (HCP) Theory and is recognized as an international expert on managing disputes involving people with personality disorders. Bill is an attorney, a certified Family Law Specialist, and San Diego’s Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center. He is the author of several articles and multiple books including High Conflict People in Legal Disputes, SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, and Don’t Alienate the Kids.

Bill joins me today to discuss the five types of toxic personalities that can ruin your life. We discuss how we can deal with high conflict personality types, the difference between personality disorders and people with HCP, and how someone can have a high conflict personality without having a personality disorder. We discuss what a “target of blame” is and how to avoid becoming a target. We discuss what it means to be a negative advocate and how it can encourage others to engage in disputes. We also discuss how your emotions can be contagious and how we can choose to use those contagious emotions positively or negatively as well as the benefits of waiting at least a year before tying the knot and marrying your partner.

“Just like alcoholics are part of us, people with high conflict personalities are part of us and we have to learn how to manage them differently – but not reject them.” – Bill Eddy

This week on The School for Good Living Podcast:

  • Why Bill believes the meaning of life is to help others
  • Why we need to constantly reflect on the type of personality we possess and the impact we have on others
  • Why Bill decided to write a book on the 5 types of high conflict personalities
  • Why you shouldn’t tell someone that they have a high conflict personality
  • What is a ‘target of blame’ and why authority figures and the people we’re closest to are often the biggest targets
  • The difference between high conflict personalities and people with personality disorders
  • Why Bill believes people with high conflict personalities are becoming more prevalent in our society
  • What negative advocates are and how they impact the people around them
  • How negative advocacy can often be a learned behavior
  • Comparing the five types of high conflict personalities
  • Conflict management strategies when dealing with people with HCP
  • How your emotions can be contagious and understanding unseen emotions
  • The impact of positive self-talk and positive mental imaging techniques
  • How to handle power-struggle scenarios
  • What the 1-Year Guideline is and why he recommends couples to date for a full year before getting married
  • Why he believes the percentage of people with personality disorders and HCP are on the rise
  • Can people with HCP and personality disorders change their personality and behavior
  • Why people with antisocial personality disorder are the least likely to change

Resources Mentioned:

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